I'm dazed and jet lagged. Tuk Tuk drivers are yelling after me down the street. Offering me rides to temples, "smoke-smoke", and anything a person could want or not want. I keep walking. SE Asia can be a healing place or your worst nightmare. Pick your own adventure. I'm here to help flip the switch for the people who feel stuck or need a reset.
I'm too tired to explore, so I walk aimlessly down streets lined with fruit vendors and market stalls, fish that eat dead skin, pharmacies that sell counterfeit drugs, and three dollar sixty minute massages.
People are destitute here. I see two children about the ages of three and five chase an empty water bottle down the street and then play catch with it. I see expats sit at bars all day and pound beers, then retire to their ritzy hotels. I don't know where I fit in.
I spend a couple of hours sitting in the cafe at the bottom of the place I am staying. I order fried rice and shitty instant coffee and watch families of five ride by on single motorbikes. I have no one to talk to.
I'm lonely in a sea of people. I'm stuck in my head in the most vibrant place. I will probably keep walking. I miss my boyfriend and I miss all the people I didn't even take the time to spend time with or say goodbye to (sorry, guys).
But. I can breathe. I'm relieved to be on the side of the world that makes sense to me. I haven't had to hear Trump or Bannon's name or anything about the alt-right or alt-left. Safe spaces and micro-aggressions and the world of the politically correct don't exist here. These people just survived the Khmer Rouge and they still have found a way to smile. I'm in a place that is familiar and that feels nostalgic. I'm comfortable in the most uncomfortable way. It's mystical, without being magical.
This is my first blog post for our new ibogaine website. We have relocated from the tropical beaches in Thailand to a temple surrounded area in Cambodia. I have felt stressed and anxious about pulling this all together. However, today I had help looking at rental properties and when I came across the one, the one - the dream for a wellness center, the dream for a place to do ibogaine, I could have jumped for joy. My heart was elated. My brain felt on fire. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited for everyone who will get to experience the program we have put together, who will get to experience the atmosphere Cambodia is offering us, with the help of my most amazing staff.
Check out our "about us" page for new staff additions and new staff additions are to come, as well.
Cambodia, we are here. We are bringing ibogaine to you and your people. We are bringing ibogaine to anyone who might want to come from Australia or Europe or even the USA. I'm excited to be here.